Three West

What is self-awareness?
If one were to look up “self-awareness” you would find many definitions of the term describing one’s knowledge of thoughts and behaviors, etc. However, I feel that is only part of what self-awareness truly is. Self-awareness is not only knowing yourself well it is also responding to your own thoughts and behaviors. For instance you can be aware that you tend to not finish tasks that don’t have set start and end dates/times. Just being aware of that does not make one self-aware. But if knowing that about yourself you choose a profession, such a Publishing, where the bulk of your tasks should have specific start and end dates/times then you are responding to what you know about yourself and are therefore self-aware.

Why should you become self-aware?
Imagine turning 70 or 80 years old and realizing that you haven’t done with your life what you would have liked to have done. Imagine feeling the years fly by and you are still stuck in the same cycle; a cycle you aren’t happy with. Realities such as these are often due to a person spending the majority of their lives not being self-aware. They spend year after year doing what they think they are “supposed” to do, engaging in activities that are counterproductive to their life goals, or they never develop or contemplate life goals for a variety of reasons. It’s not their fault. We live in a society where self-awareness is not cultivated from birth. We put diapers on our infants when they are completely capable of learning to control their waste functions much earlier than we allow them to. We send our children to schools to be trained to learn, think, dress, behave, and judge a certain way. We fight our teenagers for thinking for themselves, which we wouldn’t have to do if we were confident that we taught them to be good thinkers to begin with. We send our young adults to colleges or to work and assure them they can “be whatever they want to be” as long as it means working for someone else and never mention anything about choosing the right option for themselves no matter what the circumstances are. So where is the self-awareness?

I think of self-awareness as a time saver. When you are self-aware you save time. You don’t waste as much time with trial and error when you are self-aware and know what you were already capable of doing. I also like to use examples. For example, think about how much time you would save if you knew you were capable of a certain skill and you acted upon an opportunity to put that skill to use. I know people who have had a great skill, such as cooking, who never realized it was a skill they could do for a living. Think of how much heartache you could spare if in knowing you want children, you choose a partner who also wants children. Romantic and personal relationships in this country are in dire shape due to self-awareness problems. Remember self-awareness doesn’t just mean knowing about yourself, it also includes acting upon what you know about yourself.

In Addition, you may find what you know about yourself has changed. People learn and grow all the time and your understanding of yourself may also change over time. So be pre-paried to re-evaluate yourself from time to time and apply that new data to your current life. For instance, if 5 years ago you were not capable of effectively marketing a business you should have hired someone who was skilled in that area. However, if now you have learned some marketing skills and tricks you should be actively applying them on your own; saving you money. If your weren’t ready for marriage or a committed relationship when you were 19 or 20 years old but now at 30 or 35 years old you are, then it is in your best interest to seek a partner who is also interested in marriage or a committed relationship. It would go against your self-awareness to accept a partner who is not interested in marriage or a committed relationship.  

Here are five ways you can become more self aware:

1. Look at yourself in the mirror for 5-10 minutes everyday for 30 days and write down how you feel about yourself when you do.Write a list of the things you like about yourself and the things you don’t like about yourself. Then go down this list and figure out where the negative thoughts come from if there are any. For instance, if you don’t like your size think about where you got that negative message from. Before you get hung up on what is supposed to be “healthy” think about your real and actual health. Despite what is “said” to be healthy, have you been a physically healthy person? For example, I know several overweight people who rarely get so much as a cold and several thin people who are sick all the time. The point is not to have you be overweight, but for you to 1. think for yourself, and 2. get you in the habit of viewing your life through your self-awareness not someone else’s.

Your self-esteem plays such an enormous role in your life you simply can not overlook this suggestion. How you feel about yourself influences the decisions you make, the relationships you choose to engage in, the professions you allow yourself to apply for, the way you relate to your kids, family, loved ones, your mood, etc.

2. Take some time to write down all of your accomplishments and all of your regrets and/or mistakes up to this point in your life. Really give it some thought. When you have a list, go over each item and write down the actions you took or decisions you’ve made that lead to the accomplishments, regrets and/or mistakes. See any patterns?

For the accomplishments, try to find specific behaviors or motivations that helped you make good decisions and see if you can apply those behaviors and motivations in the future. Then try to come up with some reasons for making the decisions you may have made that lead up to mistakes or regrets. This isn’t an opportunity for you to beat up on yourself. We all make mistakes. They are learning tools. Problems arise in our lives when we keep making the same mistakes over and over and ignoring patterns we can control that help us make the mistakes. For instance if you realize that when you are upset or lonely you become impulsive and buy something you don’t need. That is a pattern/behavior that needs to be addressed.

3. For 30 days write down your daily activities. This also includes everything you purchase and your moods. This isn’t an attempt to get you to journal, it’s an attempt to get you to recognize your patterns. Patterns you can analyze. Once you have collected this information, take a good look at it. Some questions to ask yourself:

What were you feeling at the time you made all purchases within the 30 days?
Why did you feel you needed to make the purchases?
Did you put off paying a bill to purchase something that could have waited?
What are activities do you spend most of your time on?
How much time do you spend watching TV?
Do you give up real human interaction to watch TV?
How many people did you interact with during the 30 days?
Were they positive interactions?
Which moods are most prevalent during the 30 days?

4. Write down EVERYTHING you think you are good at. This should include tasks that are regular everyday things like cleaning, cooking, being a good listener to your loved ones and friends. Once you have this list, write down the tasks from the list that you LOVE doing. Some questions to consider:

Is what you LOVE doing what you are doing for a living?
Why not?
What can you do to make what you LOVE doing a career?